


Getting Used to It

by Antarctica_or_bust



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Amused Garrus, Awkwardness, Crack, Embarrassment, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, Humor, Kaidan and Shepard have no shame, Lots and Lots of Public Sex, M/M, Missing Scene, POV Outsider, Public Sex, Schmoop, The Normandy is not your usual ship, The one where they have sex everywhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 10:41:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3689217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctica_or_bust/pseuds/Antarctica_or_bust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first thing any new soldier has to learn about the Normandy is that Shepard and Kaidan have sex <b>everywhere.</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	Getting Used to It

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I have a longer fic planned, one with actual plot and everything. But I somehow managed to lock myself into rewriting the entire series without any desire to actually rewrite the entire series so you're getting this for now.

Corporal William Atherton had been so proud when he was chosen to help crew the Normandy. Everyone knew that the ship was at the forefront of the fight against the Reapers and Commander Shepard was half the reason that William had joined the Alliance when he turned eighteen. The man was a hero, the savior of Elysium and the Citadel, and William's mother wouldn't even be alive now if not for him. So helping Shepard was all that the soldier had ever dreamed of and he was determined to do the best damn job he could.  
  
Sure the commander hadn't chosen him specifically, but when the Normandy had called for tech replacements, William had been the first to volunteer and the corporal knew that Shepard accepting him was destiny. He was going to prove himself against the Reapers and even if the Spectre never accepted him into his inner circle, serving under such a man would be enough.  
  
Shepard was even more impressive in person, the commander greeting his new recruits in the docking bay when they arrived, and it was all that William could do to keep from staring at his scars. Because the stories were true, the man had died serving the Alliance and had been brought back to save humanity. So while some people might have been disgusted by the damage to their hero, William just saw a badge of honor in the faintly glowing lines.  
  
The rest of the Spectre's companions were no less impressive: Garrus Vakarian - once known as the Archangel; Liara T'Soni - who knew more about the Reapers than anyone else alive; Tali'Zorah vas Normandy - an actual quarian admiral; and even Kaidan Alenko - the second human Spectre, who had once wiped out an entire squad of geth with nothing but the power of his mind. Everyone that the corporal had read about in the news was standing here before him and he couldn't possibly match up to such company.  
  
But the commander didn't seem to care that his new recruits had barely five years experience between them and his willingness to trust them made William even more determined not to waste this opportunity. The soldier would not let Shepard down, not after everything that the other man had been through, and perhaps this was the secret to his companions' undying loyalty.  
  
William's absolute belief in Shepard lasted exactly twenty-two hours, long enough for the Normandy to leave the Citadel far behind. During this time he introduced himself to his fellow recruits, became familiar with his bunk and his new station, and then walked into the mess for a cup of coffee, where he stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
"The coffee pot is over there," Alenko said casually, gesturing with one hand while the other cupped Shepard's head possessively. The commander was kneeling between the biotic's legs, giving one damn good blow job if the flush on Alenko's face was any indication, and William was pretty sure that he had to be dreaming now. But nothing happened when the soldier pinched himself, which meant that his commanding officers must actually be having sex on the mess hall table and this made something misfire in his brain.  
  
All he could do was stare as Shepard took Alenko in even deeper, the commander more enthusiastic about his work than any date William had ever had. It was actually kind of impressive since the soldier wasn't entirely sure how the other man was breathing - not that he'd thought about this kind of thing before.  
  
"Are you sure you didn't want something?" The question broke through William's paralysis, the corporal blushing furiously as he dragged his eyes off the commander to meet Alenko's knowing gaze. The Spectre was grinning at him, far more amused by the corporal's embarrassment than he had any right to be. Seriously, what was William supposed to say to that? What was anyone supposed to say to _that_?  
  
The soldier might have stood there gaping forever if the biotic hadn't suddenly thrown his head back and moaned, blue sparks flashing over his skin dangerously. A combination of self-preservation and mortification finally pushed William into motion, the corporal stammering "Excuse me" as he stumbled back out the door. William felt a little saner once he couldn't see the other men anymore, though he'd never realized that the Normandy's doors weren't entirely soundproof until now. The metal helped but the moaning and the growling and the murmured endearments still came through far too clearly, the corporal lurching halfway down the corridor and then slumping against the wall with a resounding, “What... the... fuck?!”  
  
He still couldn't believe that this had really happened; that Commander Shepard would break fraternization regs and then flaunt the fact in public where everyone could see. The man was a hero and a Spectre and apparently an ardent cocksucker and William still hadn't managed to wrap his mind around that when someone else interrupted his freaking out.  
  
“Are you okay? You need to go to medical?”  
  
It was Garrus, the turian somehow managing to walk right up to William without him noticing. He must have been on his way to the mess as well and the soldier couldn't let him enter the room unwarned.  
  
“They... I... You don't want to go in there!" William choked out, unable to bring himself to say exactly what was going on. Maybe if he delayed Garrus enough, Shepard and Alenko would finish and he could go back to pretending this was just some horribly embarrassing nightmare instead of reality.  
  
“Goddammit. Are they fucking already?” the turian asked, sounding far more exasperated than surprised. “Alenko had better sanitize the counters this time around. I really wish they'd skip the kitchen; all that pasty skin is enough to put anyone off their meal.”  
  
_What?!_ “They've done this before?!”  
  
“Right, you're one of the new ones.” the turian said, this seeming non sequitur answering the corporal's question well enough. “Don't worry. You'll get used to it.”  
  
With this not at all reassuring statement, Garrus patted William on the shoulder and promptly walked into the mess hall, the door sliding open to reveal far more of his CO's skin than the soldier had ever planned to see.  
  
However, it wasn't the nudity or the moaning or the biotics that tipped him over the edge, it was the turian's casual, “Evening, Kaidan. Have you seen the newest specs on sniper rifles?” that sent the corporal running down the hall again. Because William really didn't want to know how often someone had to walk in on their commanding officers having sex before it seemed normal and he had a sinking feeling that he was going to find out.  
  
Indeed, the answer to that question was apparently fifty-three and the soldier would have admired Shepard's stamina if he hadn't been so mortified.  
  
He ran into them everywhere – the Starboard Observation Room, the showers, the shuttle bay, the shuttles – any place with a flat surface and a total lack of privacy. The only time Alenko and Shepard kept their hands to themselves was during missions, both officers completely professional from the moment that they left the Normandy until the moment they returned. Literally the moment since Williams had barely finished his first mission when he walked in on the other men in the armory.  
  
They'd put away their weapons but not their battle armor, the pieces scattered on the floor around them as Shepard kissed the major hungrily. He had Alenko pressed back against the lockers, his hands moving across the biotic's body while Alenko moaned freely into his mouth.  
  
The men weren't fucking yet, but they were definitely headed in that direction and William really meant to turn around like he'd done all the times before. Really. But he was tired and hungry and he couldn't go to the medbay with his pistol still in hand.  
  
So he squared his shoulders and walked into the room, cleaning his weapons and armor while doing his best to ignore the porn show going on two feet away. He concentrated on the familiar motions until the gasps and groans and choked off words were reduced to background noises and this must be how the rest of the Normandy's crew dealt with it. Because Shepard's inner circle reacted much like Garrus had that first evening, going about their business as though nothing odd was happening.  
  
The one time that William had asked Liara about it – stumbling out of the engine room after seeing Shepard bent across a work bench – the asari had simply shrugged and said, “Trust me; this is better than the pining.” Her smile had been fond if slightly exasperated and the soldier was starting to understand where she was coming from.  
  
Because Commander Shepard might be the leader of the Normandy but Major Alenko was the heart that kept this crew together – their love for each other the focal point around which the chaos spun.  
  
Or something like that anyway. William had been a little sleep deprived when he had that revelation; the soldier wasn't usually so poetic in his thoughts. But it was the truth and while his commanding officers' propensity for public sex might be weird – really, really weird – there didn't seem to be any harm in it. The Normandy was still the best ship in the Alliance after all.  
  
So the soldier snapped the last pieces of his gun back together even as Alenko came with a flash of blue beside him, the crackle of his biotics making William's hair stand on end. He put the weapon away, saluted his commanders in all their fucked-out glory and finally accepted that he wasn't going anywhere. He didn't want to transfer, not when he could still be of service, and he was sure that he would stop blushing eventually.  
  
Indeed, William managed to have an actual conversation with Major Alenko a few days later, short and awkward but a start, and the next time that Commander Shepard picked up a new crew member, it was William's turn to slap the poor woman on the shoulder and promise, "You'll get used to it."  
  
  
_End_

 


End file.
